Thanks to Andrew Armstrong at OAT for that, he asked "are there any good Nova Scotian 'cross songs, 'cos I found this one from Belgium". We think it means "Cyclocross Goes Through" but it might also means "Cyclocross through your arse". Given my Dutch extends to "hello", "that's nice", "you're an arse", "do you understand" and "goodbye" (which is a pretty coherent, if short, conversation in it's own right) then perhaps we're not the best authority!
We were as surprised as you were to find it was country. Instead of getting all pumped up to hard indie rock it just makes it all seem vaguely comical; but hey, that's Belgium for you.
You can just imagine them rocking out to that in Oostcamp. Then again, there has to be a reason that Duvel is 8.5% ABV and we think we just found it.
So, no good Bluenoser 'cross songs but Java Jim Diakos did put some images of '08 Provincials to Johnny Cash's Hurt.
That gravelly noise, that's my knees (hubs/headset/bottom-bracket/bottom - delete as appropriate).
What is 'cross? It's modified road bikes on mud. It's huge in Belgium. Of course, mullets are still considered cutting-edge coiffeury in Belguim and they cut montages of Sven Nys to specially-written country songs, but don't let that put you off. Hipsters all over North America are itching to do it, which tells you it's where it's at.
I think for triathletes we're well positioned for cyclocross. Sure, it requires bike handling skills we notoriously don't have; if there's one thing missing from a 'cross course it will be a nice flat, straight section where you can get into your tuck and carefully meter out your effort.
However, 'cross is a balls-out (sorry ladies, but ladies are more than welcome here) effort more akin to your 10k effort. If your lungs and legs are burning and there's an uncomfortable taste of blood in the back of your throat, then you're doing it right. We have heard roadies say "I can rode at 32 kph all day but I can't do a 45 minute cross race without puking". So as triathletes who have been ripping up the 10 k and half-marathon circuit since the season finished a month ago, a 45 minute all-out, up-chucking effort is right up our collective street.
What, exactly, is an all out effort. Here is a for-real graph of the TA at a 'cross race.
Yup, 181 average hr.
As a 40 y.o.,technically our max hr should be 180. So much for rules of thumb! It's not just me; everyone we know who has ever taken a hr monitor has been initially shocked at the effort it took, and are then perversely proud. Consider it a free (or reasonably inexpensive) VO2Max/maxHR test When was the last time you were red-lined at >180 av for 45 minutes? Probably at a 10K. At least you can tackle most of the 'cross sitting down.
For equipment? It's more fun on a cross-bike (boing is for wussies) but you can use an MTB if you wish, just take the bar-ends off first (this is a mass-start event). Unless you're Antar, don't bother dressing up; we've raced at 0C in essentially summer kit. What makes 'cross different from, say, the short-track MTB races is the requirement to lift and carry your bike over obstacles. In order to keep your momentum up, then you also have to do flying dismounts, flying mounts and run with the bike. These are skills we have as triathletes that your average roadie might not have. So we might be sketchy on the mud, gravel, roots, rocks and grass but we can make up for this deficiency with our own sport's bike-handling skills, not to mention the ability to red-line for 45 minutes without puking (too profusely). Trust us here, you will reap what you have sowed.
A quick word with the guys here; you ladies or those of a sensitive disposition go to the end and find out where the 'cross races are this year.
Are we alone? Great. So guys, sure you can do a flying mount. You do them at tris. You do, what, four, five tris a year? That's four or five flying mounts a year. In a 'cross race you'll be doing a flying mount every three or four minutes for 45 minutes. At some point the, ahem, boys are going to get a knock. And when I say knock, I mean leaping into the air and landing testicle-side up on a seat not known for it's padding. I'm not saying that ladies aren't immune to perineal ouchitide at the 'cross, but the TA can't speak to that from experience; this, we can! On the whole, this is ironic as we usually ride our bike to get away from the occasional shot to the gonads that life seems fit to throw our way, so to get them when riding seems to be an extra f.u. from life. Anyway, there's nothing you can do to prevent this inadvertent testicular squeezitude except practice and try to do that thing karate masters are reputed to be able to do. At least it will be cold out there!
Welcome back all. So, you want to tri it? Good for you. Well do a have good news for you. Our friends at Cyclesmith host Nova Scotia's only cross series, right here in Halifax. It'll look a bit like this vid from last years race.
Hey, you're one up on those hipsters already; you know now not to wear your skinny jeans and messenger bag. Right?
It's at Seaview Lookoff Park at 10 this Sunday for the next five Sundays. Go to the end of Novalea, ride under the bridge (down the steep hill, don't worry, you'll be coming back up here later!) and follow the caution tape/sound of cowbells/trail of vomit.
It looks like they sketched a course in there. All the usual crowd-pleasers; two climbs, a steep carry and a couple of suicidal descents. Yeah!
There's a kid's race too, but we think they will take the barriers out (seeing they are higher than your average child). Come for some lung-burning, leg-aching and (occasionally) eye-watering fun. The magazines will try to tell you this is an excellent way to maintain post-season form blah blah, but you know, don't drag the t-word into this. Come and do it for the hell of it, for the kicks of it. Yes, I know that 30 kph on the road seems pedestrian yet 30 kph off-road feels positively suicidal but, as the man said, do one thing each day that scares you.
You probably won't need the sunscreen this Sunday though.
See you there
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