Myth busted

Yeah, don't try that, but it always makes me laugh, in a there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I kind of way.

There are many myths surrounding triathlon and triathletes. Some are fairly wholesome and all about how you don't need to be an uberfit ectomorph TTing across the lava fields on a $10K (US) bike to do a triathlon.

There are also the nastier myths about triathletes. How we are jacks-of-all-trades and masters-of-none. We are humourless goal-achievers. We go everywhere in the big ring on the tri-bars, wear M-dot branded visors to bed and so on. If you're easily offended, don't read Bike-Snob's book, or at least steer clear of pages 65-67 and you'll be fine.

One enduring myth is how we are crappy bike-mechanics and would rather get new bike when we get a puncture instead of fixing it.

Some aspects of bike mechanics are common sense, and others borne of necessity. This morning saw an example of the latter. The TA was out for a ride with a couple of the Juniors/U23 Elites. To be honest, the last time we'd been out on the road with athletes of this calibre we'd been on the back of Moto#1 and it showed. We got a substantial kicking and were only saved when one of the guys quite spectacularly blew a tyre.

Their Michellin had an impressive split along one of its radial seams and the inner-tube just had an an aneurysm. Quite clearly this wasn't ridable, just putting a new inner-tube would mean we had two blown tubes and still be ten miles from home.

So, what do do? Three triathletes, one crevaisson and not a single bike-shop in sight.

Have something to eat. A candy-bar or something. If you're feeling pro and your on-line coach has preached oft and hard on the perils of the Mars bar, then something like Sharkies. You'll always feel better after candy.

Besides, you'll soon have an empty wrapper.

We ripped off part of the wrapper and used it on the inside of the tyre before putting the new tube in as per usual.

We all made it home in one piece without any other punctures, and I think we even had a couple of town-sign primes on that fix (both of which I promptly lost). Besides, the foil wrapper gave the tyre a certain bling-bling glint.

It's a bit gansta innit?

Moral of the story; you've really got to wrap your bike around a tree before you can't fix it on the side of the road with a minimum of tools. A full set of Campy-spec tools in an engraved, wooden case might be on our Christmas list but it's not necessary to fix what ails you and get you home.

A tyre-wall failure like that? You can always find something at the side of the road to fix it; a part of someone else's blown tyre, a piece of cardboard, we once even heard of someone using a bus-pass! A cardboard "tyre-stent" might not look pretty but it sure beats walking home and really beats having to call someone and get a lift (the ultimate ride-humiliation). In my time I've rummaged in gas-station garbage cans for oil, turned a geared bike into a single-free, zip-tied a seat-stay to the seat-tube and seen a bottom-bracket re-packed with butter. Duct-tape got Apollo 13 home, so it will get you home too, double so with the liberal co-application of the world's supply zip-ties and bungees. You're sorted.

I still want that Campagnolo tool-kit for Christmas though!

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