French Lessons

A Tartan Tally/Cookie Counter update will be coming soon, but we're finding it hard to keep count. Whilst we add up our fingers and toes, perhaps with the biggest race in the Maritimes coming up on Sunday (have you registered yet?), how about a French lesson?

Not those kinds of French lessons! Honestly, you lot have a mind like a pit railway; one-track and dirty. Rather, getting by at triathlons in French.

At Esprit in 2008 I asked what the French for drafting was and was told it was "le meme mot; le drafting". So I tried it "Arretez; vous etes drafting" only to hear "je ne comprends pas anglais".

Bastards.

But thanks to Andrew Armstrong at OAT, now I know, and it's official French too, not some pidgin Franglais (le drafting! P'ah!). Andrew got this straight from the UCI. Sillonner. Traditionally it means "to plough" but it also means drafting in a bike race. Je sillonne, tu sillonnes, il sillonne, nous sillonnons, vous sillonnez, ils sillonnent. That should help you the next time you're up against the Competition Jury in Quebec and I'm not on it. Write it down on a piece of paper and stick it in the envelope I'm always telling you guys to put in the glove compartment with the $50 for the appeal/protest.

Of course if it's a drafting race then a bit of sillonnage isn't a bad thing. In this case "nous travaillons ensemble?" should do the trick nicely. And if they won't, well we're still not sure what the French is for "come through you bastard" but we think that even the most ardent Francophone will get that, especially if you point. Failing that, drop back and give him a push on the arse, the international language of you're-not-sitting-in-for-the-sprint.

Continuing the agricultural theme, if you are drafting, then you need to hold on to the wheel in front then "Lache pas la patate" or "drop not the potato" (sounds like a PETA-approved version of a well-known Cabot Trail Relay team now we think if it). If you're sitting in the bunch quite comfortably then you s'assoir dans le salon or sitting in the living room. Yo-yoing off the back is jouer la accordéon and once you're dropped you're dropped in any language.

Of course, you don't always need an Exemption grade from the Treasury Board to be able to get around TZ. I once heard a competitor's struggle with a serious case of chain-suck described as "les gears sont fuckée", which needs little translation. Also, I heard a fast downhill where speeds in excess of 80 kph were to be expected described (by a policeman) as "la descente tabernak", which once more, doesn't require too much in the way of explanation.

So, no sillonnage unless I tell you it's OK. If I catch you doing it "je n'ai pas sillonne" or if you really want to drop buddy in it then it's "il me sillonnait", unless you want 15 seconds in the boite de punition. D'accord?

AD