Check-mate.

The votes from the Norwegian trousers poll are in.

The lead was teeter-tottering all week. The Nei's took an early lead, the Ja's came back quickly to take control by almost a 100% margin, the Nei's fought back to tie the poll before the Ja's found their second wind to take it. Without overtime (which is good because after last Sunday, we're not sure our heart could take it).

Not since we once suggested (not in here we hasten to add) that overtaking someone in the finishing chute was "not cool" has a question elicited such passion. Those bedazzling bukser are a polarising issue, somewhat like Celine Dion or sloping top-tubes. It seems that there can be no peaceful coexistence with these pants; it's either "OMG I so need a pair" or "OMG, no, No, NO", there is no middle ground. Their effect isn't just linked to triathlon; a colleague of ours suggested the Norwegian skip, Thomas Ulsred, could appear with or without the pants as far as she was concerned. Then again, Thomas appears to be the elder brother of Morten Harkett from A-Ha and Morten had the same influence on the fairer members of the sixth-form back in the day too.

Where does the TA stand? Well, we're not sure what it was about Argyle (the pattern not the region). Perhaps we were scarred by too many bad sweaters in high-school but it never really did anything for us.

We think we actually had this one. Yikes.

However, like so many things that were aggravating to us back in high-school; the Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium, learning to drive or the music of Dire Straits, age is forcing us to reassess Argyle.

To be honest, the first time we saw the Norwegian trousers, our eyes started to water and felt itchy and sandy, like our corneas had sunburn (and we suspect the aetiology was similar). Was it the Argyle or was it something baser, like white after Labour Day?


Granted, it wasn't the full Boss Hogg, but still, maybe this accounted for some of our visceral reaction. Argyle however, has been slowly and quietly (ahem) imprinting itself on our collective consciousness for some time now.

Apart from socks received from maiden aunts at Christmas, Argyle first appeared in our consciousness on the Garmin kit. Controversial at the time, the kit has evolved over the past few season with Argyle always maintaining pride of place, on the jerseys and on their bikes, as the team's unique visual identifier. We personally thought that the colours were maybe a bit too pale, especially with all that white on the jersey, but it's slowly grown on us, much to our surprise! And talking about socks, check out David Millar's Argyle beauties (Auntie Muriel, are you listening?)! So as much as the TA would normally never wear pro team kit on the bike, we would wear this jersey, in contrast to the Mapei or Gerolsteiner jersey horrors (shudders involuntarily)! And don't talk to me about the Footon-Servetto kit. Yikes!

Argyle even made it onto Garmin's wheels. Mapei never got their cubes on their Mavics (and thank goodness for that!)

Sugoi have their own take on Argyle too, and we've seen more and more of this on the roads.


As we all know, 40 is the new 30, Barney is the new Tinky-Winky and brown is the new black (and as any old-school roadie will tell you, shorts should always be black), so maybe this accounts for why we're currently grooving over the AG2R-La Mondiale kit, which has a serious Argyle vibe to it.



This we would wear!

So, after reassessing our reaction to Argyle we realise it does have a useful place in our lives, as indeed do the Hardy-Weinberg Equilibrium, driving and the music of Dire Straits (even Walk Of Life), and compared to what pointed nastiness could be served up....

..... then perhaps those tartan trews ......

.... aren't really that bad after all.

So until next time, wear colours wisely and when it comes to Argyle trousers it's a resounding Ja, ja dahlink, ja, but remember; no capes!




AD

OK, maybe not Walk of Life.