Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once

For those of you with a British bent, you will, of course, recognoise Michelle "of the Resistance" DuBois of the French Resistance from 'Allo 'Allo, speaking before she gave vital information on the rescue of the British airmen or the hiding-place of van Klomp's Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies (I kid you not, but then British comedy did bring us Benny Hill).

Whilst the TA may not look as good in a beret, rain-coat and short white ankle-socks (ooh-la-la), we implore you all, to leesten vary carefully, I zall zay zis only wance.

Drafting. We all know it. Following too closely behind the cyclist in front. TriCan and the ITU have even defined this distance for us, it's 10 metres (approx 30 feet) from the front wheel of the bike in front, or about 9 metres from the rear wheel. This is a big no-no in age-group triathlon. Remember how we say the rules are based on sportsmanship, fair-play, safety and the idea that triathlon is an individual endurance event? Well drafting goes against all four.

When you are drafting, you have up to a 30% decrease in drag compared to the guy in front. There is always the temptation not to do your work, to sit in and get some of your speed for free. This isn't fair or sportsmanlike.

The there's the individual endurance thing, Working in a group of two or more isn't very individual.

Finally, there's safety. You need a lot of skill and experience to draft, skill and experience, we regret to say, most of us do not have. You can easily cause an accident, either to yourself or others. Also our roads are not closed, and a driver driving to get by pack of cyclists is more likely to cause an accident either to the cyclists themselves or to on-coming traffic.

Still, people draft. last Sunday at Cyclesmith there was a particularly egregious example, a right bunch going on. You are all lucky, and you know who you are, that you all didn't get canned for that little example of pack riding, and the TA can give you that little tid-bit straight from the officials' lounge. You are damned lucky the TD wasn't, for whatever reason, in a red-carding mood 'cos I would have had at least one of you, maybe more in the penalty box or DSQ. And if I sound pissed, I am. I'm pissed, I'm embarrassed and I'm ashamed. I thought you guys were better than this.

This photo the TA took at a race in Quebec shows drafting. These guys may not be working together a la a TTT, but they're still gaining advantage. Funny story, we got into this group and told them they were drafting, in English, and got "je ne comprends pas Anglais. Maudit triathletes, where's my whistle?

Still, one more chance, so here are the rules.

1) The draft-zone is 10 m x 3 m. Go and pace it out. It's a box that surrounds each and every bicycle. You can only enter this box if you are going to pass.

In the instance below, the guy on the far right is righteous, so is the guy in the middle. The guy on the far left is drafting,

2) Once you enter the box you have two options; pass within 15 seconds or fall back out of the box. Yes, the passing time was 15 seconds when the draft-zone was only 7 metres, we know. Is that fair? Well, maybe or maybe not, but those are the rules. The TA doesn't make them, we only apply them. www.triathlon.org, just leave my name out of it.

3) Our definition of overtaking is when your front wheel is in front of the front wheel of the bike you are passing. Once that happens, the guy you just passed is now technically drafting and it is up to him/her to move back. For this to happen in 15" they will likely have to glass-crank it for a few revs or maybe touch the brakes.

4) You can pass once you've been passed, but you must go 10 m back first, i.e out of the draft-zone.

5) You cannot ride side-by-side. This is called "blocking" in the rules and "half-wheeling" by everyone else. You know, when you get half a wheel in front, then they go half a wheel in front of you and so-on until you're going 27 mph!

6) Do not overtake someone who is overtaking.

7) Crossing the yellow line is an automatic DSQ.

There, that should do it.

If you get popped for drafting, the new rules say you must stop at the penalty box. This should be at the bike turn or the run turn and there will be a board with your bib-number on it letting you know to stop. Either way, stop there and do your time. If officials are short on the ground, we'll do it the old-fashioned way and you'll serve it at your rack-spot. While serving the penalty you are not allowed to eat, drink, pee, whatever, Stand there, do your time and move on. It's a 1 minute penalty if you're stopped in a Sprint for drafting, 2 minutes in an Olympic and 5 in a Long Course and the time starts, as with all penalties, once you stop whinging. In a Sprint, if you get caught a second time it's an automatic DSQ, in an Olympic three times and LC four times.

We are allowed to be pro-active and warn you if you are getting close. This isn't an official censure, just an FYI. If your number isn't on the board in the box, carry on! Similarly, we don't have to tell you from the back of Moto#1 that there's a penalty coming; so keep a close eye on the board,

Now for the FAQ.

"How many times can I pass?". No, contrary to rumour, there isn't a rule saying you can only pass some-one x times. Have a ding-dong battle all the way to your heart's content. Just remember to go 10 m back before having another go.

"I can't get past him". We hear this a lot. Now, listen very carefully, I shall say this only once. You've been watching too much Versus. This race is won on the run, not the bike! If you two are evenly matched and you can't get by, well don't. Go 10m back and save your energy by not trying to pass any more, bide your time and smoke the guy on the run!

Crystal?

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Too early?

In light of the "we really need to relax a bit more and enjoy our sport" conversations we've been hearing recently, we came across this on the interwebs recently and it was way too good not to be shared.

The pedals are legal for KOS, but those tri-bars are not at any age. The rules are silent on fenders, and were unsure if both those rear wheels need an independent brake.

It does, however bring an entirely new dimension to calling those Profile bar-mounted hydration systems "triathlete sippy cups"!

I want my mum!

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A grand day at Grand Desert; Cyclesmith 25

A grand day out at the Cyclesmith 25 Duathlon was had by all today. After seemingly six weeks of rain (Noah had less), the clouds parted for this event's silver jubilee.

Exactly 100 athletes toed the duct-taped line across Rte 207 at Lawrencetown Beach for the off; 85 in the main duathlon, nine youth and three teams of two. As predicted, the main race was stacked with talented athletes with the winners of both this years duathlons (Evan Pemberton and Jamie Haynes), two Cabot Trail Relay leg winners, past provincial champions and a ringer from Montreal.

In contrast to previous years, where the overall leader led out from the gun (or horn or whatever) this year wasn't quite so one-sided. Montreal's Garry Mathieu and our own Gerrad Lewin led the main pack in off R1, closely followed by a pack including Shawn Amirault, Mark Campbell, Dan Thompson, Matt White, Jamie Haynes, Alan Miner and Denis Choquette. Evan quickly exerted some dominance over the field on the bike, converting a 20 second deficit on R1 into a two minute lead by T2.

Behind him there was, regrettably, some silly buggers going on, with quite the pack being reported to TD Pat MacDonald. We'll cover the drafting rules in a post soon, but for now, let us just say some people were lucky the TD was not in a red-carding mood.

However, on the plus side to such shenanigans, we are lucky our races are attracting such a deep field!

Speaking of drafting, we were amused to hear one of the officials "officially" advise athletes to "pass aggressively". Of course, what they meant was once you go through, don't immediately slam on the brakes but keep your speed up. But of course, what we heard was something different, as "passing aggressively" to us means overtaking someone then throwing a stick in their spokes!

So much for sportsmanship and fair-play!

Back to the race, and Evan extended his lead on R2 to finish in 1:37, some five minutes ahead of Gerrad Lewin with Garry Mathieu another thirty seconds back.

If anyone is counting, Garry Mathieu posted the fastest R1, Evan the fastest Bike and Lee McCarron, who we think was one of the CTR leg winners this year, the fastest R2.

In the ladies, former provincial champion Suzanne Ferrier, looking natty in her Team Canada skin-suit lead from gun to tape. She was closely followed into T1 by Ellen Klein and Brigitte Sabourin, there were only seconds in it, but she pulled out a two minute lead on the bike and maintained that on R2. Behind her, Hali Bauld came through Brigitte on R2 to take third, behind Suzanne and Ellen. Meanwhile, Micheline McWhirter came in 5th, but posted the fastest ladies' R2.

Big thanks to RD Paul Shaw in his traditional orange hat, Cyclesmith, Paul's volunteers, Gary and Mary from Atlantic Chip Timing and the officials from TNS for making the event happen.

Meanwhile, here are some pictures from the event, scoured from Jeanne Ju, TNS and Cookie MacKilt's Facebook pages.

See you in Greenwood

TNS ED and a Muppet collect registrations, waivers and memberships.

Now that's what I call a task-force. Navy Tridents ladies steam into TZ.

Gerrad Lewin rode out to the event and still placed 2nd. Get some rest before Coteau now Gerry!

Awesome water-stop T-shirts for Erin and Jacob

If Cookie gets the drafting rules....

and they're off...

Two unidentified cyclists approach T2, Good job they'e unidentified too, as that doesn't look like 10 metres!

A line of runners, including 17 y.o. Armand Caron (2nd from left) come in to the finish.

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Red-Nosed

Yes, we know, we used this title two years ago in a Bluenose article, but to be honest, can you blame us for using it again? After the mass-DSQ (or not DSQ, depending on who or where you were) two years ago, poor course-management came back to haunt the Bluenose again last Sunday.

The TA saw all the course from an athletes' point-of-view (we pace-bunnied the half and carried on to do the full). To be fair, some stuff they did well, better than in previous years. The finishing chute was much better managed and Shubie was very well marked and marshalled. However, yes, we did see some weird stuff out there, not all of which can be attributed to advanced states of fatigue, hypoglycaemia and hyponatraemia. Let it just say, whatever weird s**t we saw before 21 miles (a cross, marshaling "on the fly") was probably real, whatever we saw afterwards, well how many pink bunnies have you ever seen on a race-course?

Well, apart from that one.

The TNS member-tracking software suffered a severe case of hunger-knock last Sunday, but this is what we saw. The TA itself managed to hang on to it's top-ten finishers streak in the full marathon, clocking in at 10th (9th male, but we got girled big-time by Mylene Sanscousy). One Cookie Monster finished with us...

....whilst the other one (#338), seen here with Sean Merrett (#175) was just behind us with a stonking 3:11.

Of course, it should be mentioned that lead bike Michelline McWhirter had a bit of a moment in the finishing-chute and nearly bought Cookie down with her bike!

Former Provincial Champ Suzanne Ferrier clocked a sweet 3:26 in her debut marathon and was by all accounts smiling at the finish. We saw Penny Hart on the course too.

As usual, the big TNS action was in the half. The big news of the day was Brooke Brown's (or B2 as we must now call her, apparently) first-place finish in the ladies, the second year in a row a TNS lady has won the half (Laura Reardon-Keefe taking top-honours last year). The local papers said she was training for "World Triathlon"; let us know when you find out what that is B2! The first TNS guy we see in the results is Kevin Conley, with a 1:32. Interestingly, finishing with Kevin we also see the muppet who backed into our car a month ago. We know BTC's Janelle Knickle ran a half-marathon PB with BTC club-mate Steve Saunders finishing in around the same time before riding home to Blockhouse from Halifax! Shane Hawkins put in a solid 1:33 in what may be his final NS race for a while and may have been in a sprint-finish with John Gillis (guys, the race is 90 minutes long, isn't the finishing straight leaving it a bit late?). TA commenter Ian Loughead ran a 1:42; we're pretty sure this is a PB and he achieved his goal of finishing in-front of the 1:45 bunny, Charles Paradis, who himself was 3rd AG at the Greenwood Aquathlon. Anyway, the list is long and our eyesight is weak, so here's a link to the results for you to peruse at your leisure.

Over in the 10K, Laura Reardon-Keefe was second lady in 40:30 and just ahead of the familiar names of Dan Utting, Mike Juurlink, Charles Verge (PB Charles?) and Liam Patterson. Full results here.

We also saw some familar faces on the course, and seeing Kerry Copeland running the finishing chute bought a smile to our faces, especially when we were suffering.

Plus, she looked the coldest person out there; thanks for staying on post all morning and getting us all home safely.

Speaking of safely, we saw something with "don't try this at home" written all over it on nyvelocity (the wikileaks of cycling!) this morning whilst self-medicating our still-aching muscles with coffee. Is Di2 worth drilling out a P3? Watch, wince and discuss......

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Triathletes are animals!

As the sun rises higher in the sky, a young man's (and woman's) fancies turn to racing. As our sport relies heavily on the safety bicycle, a stop at a bike-shop to get it serviced starts to seem like a good idea seeing as many of us have neither the tools, the parts, the inclination, nor the understanding spouse who doesn't mind dirty ball-races on the kitchen table.

Before we carry on, full disclosure, the TurnAround now works the floor for our friends at Cyclesmith, and as such gets to drink free coffee all day and talk bikes. Sweet hey? We're also getting to the point where a full carbon bike with Di2 and HEDs leave us all m'eh, but that's a story for another day.

So, we're down in the mechanics' bay the other week drooling over a Cervelo or something when the topic of triathlon comes up.

"Triathletes are animals" says one guy.

"What, all Rawrr and muscly, gnarly endurance multisport beasts?" we ask (perhaps a tad naively).

"Nope, just animals"

Here's why.

Bento-Box surprises: You'd be surprised what these guys find in Bento-Boxes. Half-eaten power-bars, half-inhaled gels smeared over goodness knows what, crushed salt-tablets, PB&J sandwiches in various states of disassembly and, we kid you not, on one memorable occasion, feminine-hygiene products. Perhaps the icing on the cake, or rather the baked-goods on the crossbar, was just that; pieces of Powerbar (or similar, perhaps Clif-Bars, a taste-test was not undertaken) were left "glued" to the top-tube in easy reach of a rider in the aero-position (you know how we do it) when the bike was dropped off. Sweet. As in sweet, sticky mess. Yum.

Courtesy flush please? You know that nifty little trick you do when the two pre-ride espressos make themselves known? When you drift to the back of the pack, rearrange your bib-shorts and let go? Nope, we can't do it either. The last time we tried we essentially pee'd all over ourselves, our shoes and the bike and at the finish one of our buddies actually commented on the smell! Not that any of us do that, but even so, give your bike a quick wipe-down with a damp rag to get the worst of the salt-stains and snot off the frame before bringing it in. You don't need to bleach it, autoclave it and present it in sterile packaging, but get the most egregious biological stains off. Please?

Not every P2 comes in like this, not by a long-shot, there are only a few bad apples spoiling it for everyone. Indeed, some of these tales may even be apocryphal; I knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy's cousin who once changed an inner-tube in Mellow Johnny's. Even so, a PSA was in order. Remember; you're nice to the waiter because he can put a thumb in your soup, so spare a thought for the poor LBS wrench. He may not put a chocolate on your pillow, but he'll put a second coat of Bike Lust on your whip!

Thank-you for your attention to this matter :)

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Updates, syringes and toys

Wow, a day off. Yup, the TA actually has a day off, one where the hours are stretching off into the distance and we don't have a thing to do. So what's the first thing we do? Write for the TurnAround, naturally. We'll do the carpets later.

Firstly, a couple of race updates. The second race of the season, Du It For Shelter (DIFS), was last Sunday. RDs Stacy and Tim got a good turnout (we hear) despite the weather. No word on who won it, or in what time! All we got was "I dunno, some guy I don't know, it was fast", which doesn't make for good journalism. If you do know, let us know. You can read an inside-account of one man's DIFS on Ian Loughead's blog. Like the Duke of Wellington said, you might as well tell the story of a ball as a battle, so your take on DIFS might have been different to Ian's. Let us know.

We're still transitioning from marathon season to triathlon season (via duathlon season) and we have a few marathon results to go through. Boston seems like a long time ago now (it was - Ed) but there were a few good results, you can search for people here. The big story of the day was Mutai's worlds-best marathon time of 2:05:52 and the subsequent denial of the record on the grounds that the course was too easy (tailwind etc). This is a course they say you will run slower on (add 10 minutes to your qualifying time we've heard), not a course for PBs, those fricking Newton Hills and (personally) it's a course that's done a number on us twice, including last years morale-sapping PW 3:14! Yet now it's too easy! Bastards!

We hear from our sources that Mutai was really cutting loose on the dance-floor at the post-race party. Well, if he had that much energy, he should have run a 2:04! Just sayin'.

Elsewhere, we hear that Laura Keefe ran a 3:05 at the Vienna marathon. No word on how loose she cut at the post-race party! Will she be back to defend her women's title at the Bluenose half this weekend? If she is, don't bet on beating her!

Ron MacDougall and Darlene Chapman were in Prague for their spring marathon. We think we heard a 3:30-something for Darlene and a 4 hrs for McKilt. However, we also understand McKilt may have had a bad cookie before the race which slowed him up significantly, before he vomited his way across northern Europe on the way home. The Nova Scotia contingent in Prague was dinged pretty badly by sickness; reminds us of Berlin '06 where a few Nova Scotians found themselves "stricken" the day before the race :(

Marie-Claude Gregoire got herself Rosie Ruiz'd at the Flying Pig marathon in Cincinnati a couple of weeks ago and since the DSQ may find herself in line for an age-group gong. She's clearly going the Marathon Maniac route as she ran the Denver marathon two weeks later! McKilt and Cookie might have to watch out or else they're going to get girled.

In other news, we see thew doping scourge has just come a bit closer, with a report a masters' cycling club in Spain just got busted for PEDs. Masters? That means us guys! I know you're not doing it, but even so, if someone down the gym offers you some black-market "echinacea", just say no.

Speaking of echinacea (that's echnidnas you dummy - Ed), w saw this "Coach Helmut" on nyvelocity (the wikileaks of cycling!). Nope, not what you think, but a helmet-mounted power-meter/iPhone/Bluetooth mash-up. Your own personal Manolo Saiz! Hmm, will be asking the ITU Tech department about that one!

This might be the last time you get the TurnAround at this URL. We hear TNS about to drop their new website, trins.ca, and the TurnAround is scheduled to be part of the website (trins/ca/turnaround or something) instead of being exiled all alone out here on blogspot. Hey, we might even get our cone back. Stay posted.

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Du It For Shelter

OK folks, this is it. You've spent all winter getting up earlier on Saturday and Sunday mornings than you do to go to work. You've slipped, slithered and shivered on Sunday runs in weather you wouldn't put a dog out in and spent many, interminable hours in the basement spinning endless miles to nowhere.

This Sunday sees the second race of the 2011 season. Yup, although you missed the Aquathon already, we still have a boatload of racing to get through before the banquet (early November, we want to say the 5th, Banook Canoe Club, don't say we didn't warn you). First up, the Du It For Shelter Duathlon (hereto known as DIFS).

A rebooting of the old Hammerman Duathlon of yore, RD Stacy Juckett-Chestnutt held the first event here last year. It's out in Musquodobit Harbour way (map here), an easy hour drive from HRM. Race HQ is at the Eastern Shore Community Centre.

The first run starts from here and we remember it as being a painfully fast 4 km out-and-back, mostly along trail. It was painfully fast as it was pan-flat and we were chasing the Piggotts and Shawn Amirault; neither of whom one should chase with alacrity.

After TZ, the bike heads out due north on Rte 357. It's rolling terrain; think the Waverley Road without the high traffic count. We did it on 72" fixed and never wished for a smaller gear: a larger one yes, but a smaller one? No. It's not a technical course either, and ideally suited to jumping on your P2, assuming the position and heading out to the turn. Last year the course was cut short to ca. 20kms due to road conditions. No word yet on whether you'll get the full monty this year or not.

After returning to TZ, R2 takes the same route. Last year Brad Piggott took top honours with Heather Doucette taking top ladies honours.

As always, the race is TNS Sanctioned and being run under TriCan competition rules and should you have a protest or appeal, TD Linda McLeod will be glad to swap your $50 cash for the appropriate paperwork!

As with last year, Stacy and Tim have amassed a prize-list that is both extensive and heavy. Partly this because they are also running a 5K on Saturday in Shubie Park. Last year there was a prize for the fastest overall time in both events; yup a little multisport stage-race. Modesty precludes us from telling you who won the overall last year, but let us just say we're still drinking the gin! Hic!

So, the weather forecast is in, the sun is going to be out and all this water should have dried off by them. So really, you're all out of excuses. Atlantic Chip, you know what to do! Oh, did we mention it was for the St Leonards Society, raising funds for the homeless here in Halifax?

See you Sunday

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